Innovative Toronto Sex Shop Changes the Narrative and Gains Media Accolades

Let's talk about a subject that is guaranteed to demand attention regardless of the country you are in... sex.

Entry Path | PC: Leilani Fischbeck
It is difficult to walk by the colorful mural with the word "sex" painted on the sidewalk, leading up to a shop with a sign saying,  "Come As You Are" and not wonder what you might be missing. Other than great marketing, this shop tucked away on the street of Augusta St. in Kensington Market seems to offer something more. At first glance, there appears to be an overt message that expresses inclusivity and open dialogue involving this 'seriously taboo' subject of sex. The only thing to do was to check it out.

Upon further investigation, this shop appears as more than tinted windows with a black curtain hanging across shelves to hide pornographic videos and sexually explicit magazines. Instead, it is a brightly lit store filled with people, displaying pleasure-purchasable items and a framed list on the wall of non-shaming rules that all revolve around variations of sexual education and preferences. The framed values on the wall speak to what they represent and, these are clearly the rules one must follow to be welcome in this store. Around the "rules" poster, news articles are on display featuring the "Come As You Are" store: various Toronto publications such as Fab, Eye Weekly Style, Canadian Dimension, Toronto Life, and Globe Life and Arts, just to name a few. Interestingly, most have not seen a sex shop like this one- and the media is taking notice. 

Wall of Recognition | PC: Leilani Fischbeck
Canada resident Natalie Va, an employee at Come As You Are, is from a very small, rural, conservative town, and recalls limited discussions and opportunities to explore sexual topics or, the inability to have any sort of sexual conversations. Now, all of that has changed. Natalie states, "[This store is] a queer trans-worker co-op that takes a feminist perspective about making it an inclusive space for everyone...that means we try to avoid the specialized gays and stigmas...this is a place where you should feel comfortable". Despite progress, animosity is still prevalent in the vocally inclusive sex community surrounding the shop; Natalie shared several instances of 'sex negativity', like last year during the Pride parade the store had their windows smashed: "We still get hate and we have to live with it". 

The stigma around conversations about sex is centuries old; from instinctual avoidance of awkwardness, the thought of open dialogue being sacrilegious, choosing a more conservative approach, and/or simply just not knowing how to start, the conversation of sex has always been challenging, to say the least. Today, studies show that it is healthier to have an open dialogue about sex. Proven benefits include mental well-being and stronger relationships; this includes how parents speak to their children in addition to honest dialogue regarding preference amongst partners. David Ludden, Ph.D of Psychology Today, summarizes the current climate of sexual conversation, stating that, "...despite sexual liberalization over the last half-century, there still seems to be a prevalent attitude in Western culture that sex is something you do, not talk about." This Toronto store is changing the narrative and welcoming the conversation, especially for those who do not feel included in the traditional sense. 
Sex Education Station | PC: Leilani Fischbeck

Interestingly enough, Canada has been making adjustments when it comes to their sex educational system as well.  Kate Otterbein wrote an article at Interrobang asking questions about sex education and sought expertise from MSW and RSW Emma Sutton. Sutton stated, “In Ontario, our sexual education changed in 2015 to include more information about different types of sex, sexualities, identities, and consent... In the past, the curriculum had not changed since 1998"; this was almost ten years ago (Otterbein, 2022). 

With shops like these that seemingly go beyond simple stimulation and strive to provide education, we can expect a healthier sex community and in turn, less misinformation. Open dialogue and inclusivity about sex have been proven to create a more healthy, safe, and balanced lifestyle for all. It appears that open conversations and breaking the stigma about sex results in more good than harm.

Stickers | PC: Leilani Fischbeck
Citations

Geuens, S., Mivšek, A. P., & Gianotten, W. (2024). MIDWIFERY AND SEXUALITY. Springer.

Ludden, D. (2019, August 1). Why You Need to Talk About Sex With Your Partner | Psychology Today Canada. Www.psychologytoday.com. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/talking-apes/201908/why-you-need-talk-about-sex-your-partner

Nuno, S. M. (2017). Let’s Talk about Sex: The Importance of Open Communication about Sexuality Before and During Relationships. Family Dynamics and Romantic Relationships in a Changing Society. https://www.igi-global.com/chapter/lets-talk-about-sex/177421

Otterbein , K. (2022, September 23). How has talking about sex changed over the years? Www.theinterrobang.ca. https://www.theinterrobang.ca/article?aID=16400





Location: Toronto, ON, Canada

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